Near Is Far
by JemnJeevas
Summary: "Light Yagami; you... are Kira!" Near had won, solved his game, his puzzle... but what now? The Kira case was over, it was just him now.
1. So Far Away

**Hey guys, so... this is my first story that I've posted on here... so, hello and without further ado, I hope you enjoy! :)**

 **It was originally gonna be a one piece but considering I'm still updating that's not the case anymore because it's a lot longer too c:**

 **Anyway, thank you for being here and I hope you review/comment/favourite etc, it would mean a lot to me.**

 **Thanks guys!**

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"Light Yagami; you... are Kira!"

Near had announced it with pride. His focus had been entirely concerned with solving this case, leaving his mind no space to be caught up with anything else.

That was it. He'd won! Admittedly, yes, with the help of L, Matt and Mello. But, he had.

He'd won the game, but what was his prize?

The feeling of winning was temporary, the sense of achievement had started to feel like just an illusion.

He lost himself that night. He got lost. Alone. Not only out in the streets, but in his mind. The further he ventured into unknown territory and explored, the further his mind wandered. It was beautiful, like temporarily going into a new world for a while, that he didn't know existed. It reminded him of those closest to him.

An adventure, forgetting where he really was; pretending he was anywhere he desired to be. Anything he could dream up in his vivid imagination. Large sophisticated buildings surrounded him from either side, the orange glow from the street lamps flowing out amongst the wide pebbled road. A river almost breaking out through the cracks as the rainwater lightly made its way through the crevices, creating a stream as more droplets landed on the cobbles. It was truly beautiful. Water droplets dampening Near's hair and running from his forehead, down amongst his features, then falling from his chin.

Near smiled, stopping in his tracks upon reaching a bridge, as he gazed into the beautifully illuminated blackness that was the night sky, airy clouds floating slowly by as they masked each of the stars and revealed them like it were the first time.

Then he realised, nowhere really did feel like home. The closest feeling Near could get to home, was to find places that he'd never been to before. There was something calming, settling about it. Cold kicked in to his frozen still figure, like an unwanted emotion trying to seep into his mind, numbing him partly physically. His neck was covered in the natural liquid, and areas of his pale skin starting to show through his cotton shirt as the material became soaked in the rain. Closing his eyes, he managed to show the slightest likeness of a frown, opening them to wide eyes appearing emotionless and void, although anyone who knew him would recognise the sadness lost in them. The darkness growing more and more, engulfing its' surroundings further into the night. The sky becoming clearer, stars disappeared one by one. He let his line of vision fall to the ground.

He'd been left behind.

He always had been.

The chilly, yet, now almost unnoticeable draught stealing away small locks of his ice-white hair along with it.

He'd always liked being alone in his own space and doing his own work, but the boy had never known loneliness.

He could only hope, that somehow, they were still here. He frowned, happiness vaguely evident in his expression as he considered the possibility. He knew it was a silly far-fetched theory and that it was illogical to think that such a thing was possible, but contrary to the fact that he- much like L, barely slept, he could still dream, right?

He turned back.

As he walked, he started to think more to himself. 'What would it matter if I died now? The world is safe from Kira now. Nobody here needs me anymore.'

...but there were people he needed.

People whom, unfortunately, he couldn't just follow for the sake of his loneliness. He'd saved the world from Kira, who knows what else could happen that requires his attention, his intelligence, his skill. It was improbable that anything as major as the Kira case would happen, but there would be cases nonetheless. Cases where lives were at stake, maybe cases even similar to the Kira case, or cases like...

"Hey Nate!" a familiar voice spoke from behind him, interrupting his thoughts.

...this one!


	2. Who?

Near froze up, contemplating his next move. His wide eyes emotionless as ever as he stared blankly at the dark dimly lit path ahead of him. Where had he heard this voice before? Rapidly racing through his mind was the fact that whoever this person was, he knew his real name. Pangs of confusion and, pain, as much as he hated to admit it, shot through him as he recalled that only L, Mello and Matt knew his real name. He racked his overworked mind for whomever could know him by anything other than his alias. He was prepared to attempt to run as he slowly started to look over his shoulder, considering that this person may not even be a threat.

Not even a second after he had time to finish this thought, his theory was quickly spun to an end when he felt his body being thrust backwards into another larger being.

"Ah.." he managed, a hand forcibly clasping itself around his jaw, sealing any gaps between it and his mouth before he had a chance to resist or call out any more. Near's fragile panicked body writhing against his perpetrator, his muffled attempts to make noise escaping as nothing more than inaudible moans. Evident fear now visible on his pale face, thrashing as violently as was possible for the boy, the man containing him now pinning his wrists together in one large-handed tight grip.

"Shhh... I'm not going to hurt you." The voice spoke soothingly, slowly, stroking his wrist gently with his thumb in an attempt to calm Near.

Near winced in pain, slamming his eyes closed as he felt the pulse rushing through his neck, almost as audible to him as he wished his useless screaming was to anyone else. He struggled for breath as his heart rate had sped up dramatically, then giving in to the stronger being. Suddenly, he relaxed his body, giving up squirming and instead trying to untense as best he could, slowing his breathing as he slackened his jaw slightly.

The older male released his grip a small amount, feeling Near's warm breath hitting his hand desperately as he tried to prevent himself from losing consciousness.

Then, silence and stillness ensued, a mutual unspoken trust almost being established. Near collected his thoughts; he had a good idea of who this was now, but why would he be kidnapping him, of all people? Surely, it wasn't necessary? It crossed his mind as to whether or not this was even a bad thing. Whilst Near didn't trust him all too much, could any subsequent events really be that bad now? Thoughts of his idol and his rivals darted through his mind, and all too soon this setup felt all too deliberate. He let out a shaky, yet fearless breath.

"It's okay Near, I know.." the voice gently cooed. Suddenly, he felt drowsy, weak, almost unable to stay standing.

He knows what, what does he, how does he..? Near opened his eyes slowly, suddenly feeling the warmth of liquid on his cheeks as he struggled to focus. The warmth that he had previously numbed himself to from the cold. However, this substance wasn't from the rain, it was from his own eyes. His eyes that were now even more blurry... even more unfocused, even more...

Near felt a hand catch him as he fell, supporting him. He felt soft leather beneath him as he felt himself being carried and placed down on a bed. It was soft, comforting his body as he felt a figure placing his arms around him, holding him protectively. Near opened his eyes slightly, catching a glimpse of he black sleeve that rested below his face.

"Mello..?" He questioned, well aware that it was the chocolate addicted blonde. Not so aware of why exactly he had his arms around him. Not that he minded at all.

"Near, don't talk," He said reassuringly. "I'm not leaving again." Mello spoke promisingly, earning a small smile from the albino. An expression that rarely crossed the younger boys face. He lifted his head up, turning to face the other boy, only to be greeted by nothingness and the realisation that he was in fact alone. Alone, and cold. He brought his own sleeves up to his face, shivering now as he placed his head softly back down onto the pillow, tears starting to flow down his face as he lay back down. He stared into the distance, emptiness flooding his expression. Then, he snapped, sitting up abruptly and screaming his name.

"Mel-Mello..." he choked out, whimpering helplessly. "Mello... NO... come back... MELLO..."

"Near, wake up. It's okay. Near." Near felt a hand stroking his hair gently, looking up feeling as if he'd broken into a sweat. The other hand cupping his shoulder, slowing down now from shaking him. He looked up at the being that at first he considered to be L's, however, upon focusing more intently on his eyes...

"B?" Near questioned, almost unbelievably, recalling the events from when he was previously conscious.

Beyond just watched him, jet black hair hanging gently above his blood red irises. He was almost the spitting image of L, and suddenly the sight knocked Near sick. The albino averted his grey eyes, suddenly filled with more grey than usual. And suddenly letting more emotion show than usual; enragement.

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 **Hai, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and once again, all comments are welcome, please review and stuff like that...**

 **because that would be awesome and I'd love to know what you all think:)**


	3. Abandoned

"So... they left you behind, huh? It's just you left now." He stated bitterly, making it clear that N was the last one in his way, his mood switching completely now that he had Near right where he wanted him.

Near glared at the dark haired impersonator, now noticing the restraints clasped around his wrists just enough to let the blood flow through his veins, as he tried and failed to sit up. Slamming his head back down in defeat, he sighed impatiently, ignoring B's words completely.

"Jealously is not a very admirable trait B. I never admired it in Mello and I certainly wouldn't dream of admiring it in you. You'll never be anything compared to L, no matter how hard you try." Near spoke articulately on behalf of his mentor, seemingly unphased by his disadvantaged position.

Beyond reached out a hand, gripping his chin harshly and using his thumb to abruptly turn N's head to face him. Near's lips tightened into an expression of content as he raised his focus back to B's eyes.

"You think you're so much better than everyone else Near. You think you're number one! You think you can surpass L on your own. Well guess what Near, you're nothing, you're not going to be surpassing anybody, especially not L." he let out a manic laugh, ignoring the fringe that had now fallen as a result, covering one eye. "If anything... you're going to be joining that loser." He smiled almost insanely, waiting for Near to be scared.

Near suddenly felt a slight feeling of regret form as he briefly recalled calling L a loser when he was still at Wammy's House, although, he couldn't help but smile helplessly at the thought of joining L, however unlikely. He soon turned the expression into a smirk before Beyond could realise what was really going through his mind, as well as take in the shock of what was actually being implied here. B was obviously planning to kill him.

Whilst he realised that he should want to escape from this demonic lair that he now found himself in, there were a few things wrong with that desire. Firstly, he was restrained and Near knew himself well enough to know that he was nowhere near strong enough to make any attempt to escape from these restraints, or take on B on his own. Secondly, he _was_ alone, and, whilst admittedly, that was all he ever seemed to wish for when his closest company was still around, being without the three was starting to take its toll on him. He had nobody to trust or confide in anymore, nobody that knew him. Hell, he didn't want anyone else to know him.

B must have been watching him think silently to himself before he spoke again.

"Aww... poor thing. You must be..." B mocked, snapping Near from his thoughts and back to what he had previously said as he slyly interrupted.

"I was number one though. I still am number one. At least Mello had enough pride to work on the same side as me instead of work against me out of sheer spite and jealously, knowing that he was second to me. You, however, have _always_ been second to L, and _always_ been last to all of us" Near smirked, proudly standing up for long-lost geniuses, his voice raised as he spat the words at B, hitting his weak spots with his words, well aware that he was provoking him. Although he didn't expect him to react so quickly.

Near closed his eyes as he, first, felt a waft of cool air hit him from the sharp movement of Bs arm. Followed by the cold, very real feeling of a pistol pressed against the side of his head, the sound of the gun being cocked right next to his ear.

"Shut _up_ Near!" B yelled, face contorted into an outraged snarl.

He swallowed, eyes gazing into the distance, lost, and he had to stop himself from smiling whilst he let the feeling of déjà vu suffocate him. He briefly considered trying to manipulate B with reverse psychology by showing that he didn't mind whether or not he pulled the trigger. This could potentially save him. After all, B's main focus was clearly to hurt Near, to be number one. He didn't know that by following through with this he would actually be doing N a favour in ending his misery before it could progress any deeper.

Near knew he would have the potential to save so many more lives, and that it was almost immoral to not even try to save his own. He concluded, however, that maybe he should be selfish. Maybe it wasn't worth it. Winning the game just didn't seem all that much to him anymore, with nobody to be proud of him but himself. However, leaving B alive with nobody to stand for justice with knowledge of his existence. Near shook his head almost in agony. He'd had enough. Enough contradictions and second-guessing himself. Enough being alone. Enough games. Enough of... everything. He felt so weak for admitting it, even to himself, but he couldn't take it anymore. He had found himself wanting B to take him from this world. Exhaling in such a way that could have been interpreted as pleasure from this thought, he relaxed his body. He'd never been readier for this.

Near smirked fearlessly, accepting his fate as he repeated the same words that he somewhat wished Mello had acted on sooner:

"B..." he started confidently, taking a deep breath. "If you really want to shoot me then go ahead and do it!"

Near didn't need to see B's expression to know that he was shaking with rage right now. The same way he hadn't needed to see Mello's either. Near frowned as he almost hesitated, by then he heard the metal edging back coldly. Innocently, he closed his tired eyes, emptying his mind, filling the weary organ with nothing but thoughts of L, Mello and Matt. Invisible tears staining underneath his eyes. Photographic memories racing through his head as he allowed himself to smile genuinely one last time, drawing in his last breath. Silently wishing as he exhaled.

 _I hope Mello_ is _waiting for me._

 _..._

*BANG*

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 **I don't know if you're all gonna be happy or sad at this cliffhanger kind of thing... well, new chapter soon...**

 **Stay tuned... and please review guys, it would mean the world to me! *gives free cookies to people who review* :p**

 **I will update soon c:**


	4. White

Near didn't feel any pain. His still, weak body seemed to stop altogether. Although it was hard to tell with the stoic expression that existed upon his face.

B could have sworn the albino had whimpered. He would never know for certain as the piercing noise drowned out everything for moments, filling the room with sheer silence.

The young boy collapsed on to the bed completely, almost as if he had relaxed every muscle in his body, finally. His pale pink lips parted slightly, the last of any air still in his lungs escaping through the orifice as if he didn't care to utter another word. Snow like skin draining of any slight colour that was left remaining as small white tufts of his hair fell gracefully, grazing his eyelids somewhat perfectly.

His skull shattered, the skin surrounding it broke nearly too quickly. At the same speed, a silver bullet piercing through the organ that had served the utmost purpose in his life. The wound ricocheted to the other side of his head, the small yet destructively sharp intruder escaping just as easily as is it had entered, friction shattering critical nerves and neurons along with it, spilling a mysteriously beautiful shade of deep red liquid. Some, painting the colourless walls by his resting figure. The rest pouring from his lifeless form like the life that was being so instantly drained from him; tainting his only colour, violating him and corrupting his innocent body.

White. And then none at all.

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 **A/N: short chapter guys, i'm sorry, but i had to get that description down as I started writing it in my head at the most inconvenient time. the next one will be longer, and possibly the last..**


	5. The Final Piece

Consciousness faded ever so slowly back into his mind, a dizzy yet pleasurable sensation pulsing through his head as he came around. It felt as if he was lolling his head from side to side. However, he refused to open his eyes. He didn't know what was awaiting him. Could he really have died?

He inhaled sharply, questioning the idea briefly in his mind before dismissing it, his breath caught in his throat for a moment as the numbness left his body. He felt arms around him. Warmth encapsulating him at a perfect temperature. One underneath his neck and curled around his chest, a slender hand cupped gently round his shoulder, thumb stroking gently back and forth. The other arm, resting on his waist and wrapped around Near's tummy as if shielding his body from harm; Harm that no longer existed. His entire back was radiated by the body that lay behind him, protecting his.

Swallowing, he dared to open his eyes half way, the bright light from the stars that fell upon his skin entering them. Hesitantly, he opened them completely, revealing the endless deep purple and dark blue atmosphere far above him, but seemingly right next to him. He shifted his weight slightly, letting out a soft mewl as he turned his head slightly to reveal the face that was previously buried into the back of his neck. He froze. His eyes met with dark dilated pupils. Wide grey eyes just like his own stared back at him, unblinking at first. Eyes that were in shock, also just like his own. It was almost like looking back into a mirror for what felt to be the longest few seconds of his 'life', until the infinite moment ended. Near broke eye contact, noticing the males other features. He blinked softly but slowly, as if unsure whether he wanted to witness this, but decided he did as his eyes reopened them to a wider state than before.

Dark strands of hair made their way into Near's vision, as the black hairs made their way into the mans face as he tilted his head. The dark semi-circles under his eyes made him look tired yet oddly wide awake simultaneously. At that moment, Near's sight became clouded as he felt warm clear liquid flowing from his eyes. Upon witnessing him again for the first time since he actually recalled what he looked like clearly, he was in a state of disbelief. Neither spoke. Then, Near's voice almost collapsed on him, surprised he could even breathe, as he uttered a single letter...

"L?" he managed weakly, barely hearable, piercing the silence that stood between the two. L looked almost pained to hear Near's soft voice once again, as he fought tears and lost too.

"Near." L smiled whilst the young boy closed his eyes as if his name suddenly meant everything to him. "You're... finally here. You're back where you belong." L continued in disbelief, removing his highest arm slightly to gently pet the albinos' soft cotton hair, mesmerised by the movement like he was trying to remember each and every hair as he entangled his fingers and twirled strand after strand. "You're home." Near took in his words, very much aware of the fact that L wasn't referring to 'Wammy's House' when he spoke of home. Suddenly, he didn't feel scared anymore, he didn't hold back and he didn't feel any need to hide his emotions.

L watched as Near's facial expression changed from surprise to a look of pure ecstasy. A complete loss of any negative emotion, all worry drained from his face. L felt shallow breaths hitting the lower half of his face as Near exhaled. He held his grasp now more firmly on Near's waist as he pulled him closer, embracing him tightly and supporting the back of his head with a curved palm. L shakily breathed in the smell of Near's hair as Near buried his face into L's neck, nuzzling into his clavicle with his chin resting on his chest through the white material barrier below L's collar. Near returned his embrace as his smaller arms found their way around L's slim body, their tummies now pushed tightly against one another. He was trembling slightly in L's arms, clinging to him through cotton sleeves.

"Don't ever leave again L." Near pleaded, whimpering now, which almost broke L's heart for a second time. Although, it was a futile request because there would be no leaving anyone anymore. Nonetheless, the response of "I promise" didn't go unspoken. They lay still and comfortably, their breathing slowed and slowed to a point of blissful relaxation. L's heartbeat now the only sound Near cared to focus on, his ear pressed securely against the encompassing materials above Ls heart.

He never thought he'd get the chance again. Near smiled gratefully at the truth behind his predicted impossibility of this situation ever actually occurring. He hadn't been this close to L since he was five years old.

A glimpse of fiery colours flashed before him as nearby shuffling was heard. Out of the corner of his eye... Mello. He saw Mello. And a familiar red head, Matt. They both stirred; each of them loosely holding the other. Mello lay on his back, Matt's head tilted not far below his own. Mello's hand rested on his back, rising and falling with every breath Matt unconsciously took. Near was almost stunned at the sight of them lying so peacefully together, breathing softly with neutral unbothered expressions on their faces. It was nice to see them so defenceless and quiet for once, not fighting or arguing. Not being loud and flamboyantly wrecking havoc upon the world. And not full of distorted unsightly scars covering one side of their face like a mask. Mello's skin was his own again.

He reminisced the last time the three of them had all been together in the same place, 7 years ago, noting that this time was different. Instead of all trying to keep up with L and surpass each other: Suddenly, L wasn't his mentor, his father figure. Mello wasn't the rival whom he received such a deep, yet unrequited hatred from. He wasn't L's successor. Matt wasn't third or not good enough. None of them were ranked anymore. They just, were.

"Nate?"

No more aliases either. Near flinched, ears pricked up, eyes widened as he heard his real name spoken. Placing a hand out behind him, he pushed himself up slightly to focus on Mello. He internally questioned whether Mello had ever even known his real name.

Mello's voice spoke, still with that deep raspy edge to it, but it was softer, sweeter. It was tired. You could almost say he was living up to his name for once. Contrary to how contradictory it used to be, clashing with his personality. It finally suited him. Much like his face where the darkened scar covered half of it. It was gone. Near took in his appearance in silence. He looked beautiful, and youthful again.

Mello stared back with innocent eyes and gasped, eyebrows raised instead of buried into his eyelids. Instinctively, Matt woke, moaning quietly into Mello's black shirt, clutching it as he glanced towards his eyes before following their line of vision. Mid-yawn, he paused and considered whether to open his mouth even more or close it, before sealing both lips back together. He briefly returned his attention back to Mello before once again before doing a double take and copying his gaze toward the smaller, younger boy.

Eventually, Mello got to his feet, padding over to the other side of Near, as Matt crawled over to L, his hands falling upon L's upper arm, resting his head there also as he viewed the other three. L responded by bringing a hand up to Matt's face, carefully brushing his red hair with his fingers. Mello lay back down carefully, stroking the smaller boy's icy white hair gently as if it were the most precious and beautiful thing that existed here. As if he'd been waiting for his arrival just to have this one moment with Near. He leaned forward slowly, his lips coming into contact with Near's hair, brushing against the white tufts of hair, before burying them completely as he planted a gentle loving kiss on Near's forehead. Near shivered as he held him close, pulling away after a few lengthy seconds, not expecting such compassion from Mello. A light blush spread across his pale cheeks as he breathed out unsteadily, letting the feeling affect him.

"I told you we were both headed towards the same destination. I told you I'd be waiting for you." he stated in a strong yet comforting whisper, remembering his last words to him previous to this day.

"I didn't think it would be like this though. I'm almost certain that you didn't think so either." Near responded thoughtfully, as the same event that Mello had made reference to washed through his mind.

"I didn't think you'd miss me this much." he smirked slightly, golden wisps covering his face and genuine tears falling from his eyes; a display of emotions that Near had never before seen on Mello. It felt like Mello was crying for every act of unkindness that he'd ever directed towards Near. Every hurtful word he'd spoken. Every attempt to inflict pain on the boy. Every tear that fell from Mello's face was like an unspoken desperate apology. Deep down, he did long for forgiveness for his mistreatment towards the albino during their time. Near just continued to let tears flow in response, lightly tracing random patterns with his fingers in Mello's hair.

"Shh, of course I missed you Mello."

Mello reached out and Near shivered as he felt Mello's warm hand grazing gracefully across his perfect white skin, carefully wiping away his tears. It was as if Mello didn't believe he was really here. Near looked deep into his light blue eyes, not able to extract the slightest amount of hate anymore from the eye contact.

"I'm sorry." Mello spoke, his voice seemingly ridden with guilt and regret.

"Shh.." Near repeated, advising him again, "I forgive you."

"You were so far" Matt announced, interrupting the moment and his own thoughts when he finally spoke, which he rarely did anyway seeing as he was usually deeply immersed within his pixelated world. He smiled more sincerely as he realised that Near was living up to his name too. Near shifted his focus to him, ignoring his obvious attempt at a pun, but smiled anyway.

"Mihael... Mail..." he spoke weakly as if only breathing their names, looking at each of them in turn blissfully, overjoyed at their presence, yet remaining serious.

Finally, and almost unbelievably... no more cases, no more anything, no more stress or rivalry. No more aliases; they didn't need to hide anymore. Just, here. With the three most treasured people in his life that had ever existed. That's all he wanted now.

"Near, I didn't think you could get any more white." L noted out loud, caressing his forehead slowly with his thumb as he observed Near's body, which was covered by pure white pyjamas.

"I'm not sure I follow?" He prompted L confused, who just placed a hand gently on his upper back, pressing down in between his shoulder blades with a slight force. Near tensed reflexively before looking amazed as he was made aware of the two foreign objects protruding from his body. Or, new parts of his body, now that he thought about it. Soft, white, beautiful feather-like wings hovered above his back like they had always belonged there, slightly moving as Near softly tensed and untensed his muscles.

"Yeah, we can fly" Matt pointed out somewhat unnecessarily, grinning. L chuckling at his statement as he knew Near would have already figured it out. "But for now, we should rest. We have all the time in existence to spend time together now. Also, Near... I believe I do owe you a thank you. It took all four of us to finish, but the world is finally safe from Light. I wanted to thank you for avenging my death." L stated happily as he felt Mello reaching over them extending a blanket over himself and the two, Matt grabbing a handful of the material from his hand before covering himself with it too.

Near lay amongst the three peacefully after waiting for them to settle, closing his eyes to rest as he lay in between L and Mello. None of them said another word. Near, thinking about where he was now as his soft breathing barely made a sound. This almost didn't feel real to him, but he knew that it was. As stubborn as he was, he let belief finally sink in, feeling a tingling sensation in his chest. Another uncontrollable smile emerged upon his face, mind drunkenly fuzzy on how perfect this moment was, how perfect it was to be reunited with his three companions.

The only sound that could be heard was the shallow peaceful breathing of the four boys.

He was so happy. Possibly the most he'd ever been.

It was like having the final piece of the puzzle.

And it fit perfectly.

~end~

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 **A/N: Thank you guys so much for reading my story. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
**

 **It makes me happy to imagine things panning out like this for Near. And all of them, really. I kind of imagine them to have this brotherly love for eachother seeing as they all grew up together and** **went through a lot together. After all, they were orphans and only had eachother when it came down to it, as much as Mello/Near denied it.**

 **Any comments, reviews and criticism is welcome. Good or bad, I don't mind, we all have our opinions ^_^**

 **I'm kind of proud of myself that I actually completed a story that I started.**

 **But anyway, thank you all so much.**

 **Stay awesome!**

 **-Jemn**


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